


roses are my favorite flower

by ccandycait



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends to Lovers, Confession, Depression, F/F, Nostalgia, Roses, break ups, chaennie, cute tho, girls, idk how to tag, jennie is also sad, jennie is so gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27058672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ccandycait/pseuds/ccandycait
Summary: it hurts to be best friends with your exes.jennie is still so in love with chaeyoung that it hurts.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	1. roses are my favorite flower

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing for blackpink but i’m obsessed with chaennie ;) i hope u guys like also thank u celes for supporting me and my annoying complaints of not being able to write

Jennie was lovesick.

She was so in love it hurt. 

Every time she would glance at Chaeyoung, her heart skipped a beat. Every time there was a brush of their hands or a bump of their shoulders, she felt fire race up the area of her skin. Every time Chae called her name, ( _Jennie unnie ~_ ) Jennie was bouncing up to her and awaiting instruction.

Jennie Kim was starstruck for her best friend and every time she was reminded of it, she wanted to sink into the earth a little bit more. 

_“Do you have a crush on anybody, Chaengie?” Lisa would ask one night when they were lying around, tired and bored and looking for excuses to talk. They had been on the subject of the boys they had gone to high school with and Lisa had gone on about how some of the guys were cute but she’d never date someone from her high school._

_Jennie braced herself for the question and glanced as subtly as she could in Chae’s direction. She almost didn’t want to hear her answer, but knew she was too obsessed to not listen._

_“Oh, I dunno. The girls here in Korea are really nice, but I don’t feel as close to them as any of you guys,” Chaeyoung had rattled off, looking up from her phone with a shy grin._

_“Wait, girls?” Jisoo quipped, her head popping up as well. “Girls??”_

_“Unnie!!” Lisa had exclaimed as well, and Jennie only laughed because that was all she could bring herself to do._.

Chaeyoung had come out that she liked girls that night. Everybody was excited.  
Jennie recalled that night in fondness. She herself had been the first to reveal that she was bi a couple of months ago, and maybe that had encourage their Rosie into telling them her own feelings out of the blue...

But god. Jennie was in love with her best friend and said best friend liked girls?  
She could barely handle it.

When winter break came that semester, Jennie found herself falling deeper and deeper into the hole she had dug herself into. She found herself reaching out to Chae more, texting her while they were apart just because she was bored.

Eventually, Chae had started to do the same, and it only made everything that much more painful for Jennie.

_text from: chaengie_

_> ‘i’m bored entertain me’_

_i’m not rlly sure what ur asking me for chaengie 😐_

_> ‘just talk to me ??? is2g  
i’m not even listening to  
my professor right now_

Sometimes that’s just how it went. 

It might sound pathetic, but Jennie was just glad that Chaeyoung was as interactive as she was. The younger girl was always seeking Jennie out to talk to her, and would sometimes cuddle up to her when they were watching movies as a group of four in their dorm, and oh god, Jennie was in heaven. She thought she could live like this for a little while —

Until one time, they had gotten maybe a bit too drunk. A little too excited. A little too _close_. 

Jennie can’t remember much from that night aside from the twenty seconds that she had hyper-focused on.

_“Hey, unnie,” Chaeng had called for Jennie, turning around at the same time that Jennie had tilted her head to look in the younger girl’s direction —_

_Yet they had already been sitting close enough as it was all piled on each other, so the close proximity between the two of them had surprised both girls._

_They stared at each other for a good six seconds or so and Jennie swore her blood ran cold. She saw Chaeng’s eyes go from her own eyes, to her lips, then back to her eyes, and she couldn’t help but wet her dry lips in nervousness._

_But Chaeyoung didn’t say anything — just mumbled a ‘never mind’ and turned away, back to Jisoo and Lisa._ ,

Those few seconds were stuck in Jennie’s head and just would not leave. Even when the four of them were hungover and hurting the next morning, scattered across the living room, she still remembered.

She continued through the next few weeks absolutely tearing herself over those few seconds. Overanalyzing, maybe, but she couldn’t help it. It was to the point where she had started to avoid Chaeyoung, afraid of giving herself away due to it being almost painful to look at the younger girl without being overwhelmed with the feeling of fondness.

She didn’t exactly ignore Chaeng’s texts or calls, but it became sort of common for Jennie to brush her off or to say she had plans whenever asked out. 

Maybe she was too obvious.  
Maybe she was too harsh.  
But she was only to protect herself from the inevitable heartbreak that was to come.

It was her mistake.

_It all came tumbling down when Chaeyoung burst into their shared room one night, the door hitting the wall and causing a loud thud that had Jennie looking away from the vanity mirror she sat at. The ribbon she had been tying into her hair was dropped and left to hang from her ponytail as she glanced up at the younger girl._

_“Jennie,” she said, her eyes narrow._

_“Yeah?”_

_“What’s up with you lately?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_Chae sighed. “Why are you avoiding me?”_

_“I’m not,” was the immediate answer, but Jennie knew that Chaeyoung wasn’t buying it._

_Chae only started at her with a raised eyebrow, and that’s when Jennie stood from her chair and looked the other girl in the eye._

_“I didn’t mean to, okay? I’ve... I’ve just been busy...”_

_“Too busy to hang out with me? Jennie, I like you too much for it to be like this.”_

_“Huh?” Jennie’s head tilted to the side, the bottom of the ribbon brushing against her shoulders._

_Chaeyoung sighed. Jennie watched her for a minute, and she saw something shift in her eyes._.

Staring at the picture on her phone, Jennie couldn’t help but to recall only positive memories. There was nothing negative about their relationship at all. No arguments, no pain, just laughter and love and feeling incredibly close. Best friends to girlfriends, that’s what it had been.

She studied the picture. It was a photograph taken of Rosie at a concert they had gone to together. It was something she took on a whim, just snapping pictures left and right, but this one was her favorite.

Rosie’s hair was done up in twintails with braids running through them and there was glitter sprinkled throughout her makeup, causing her face to shine. Her eyes were closed as she danced to the music in the background and her hair flying in the air. She looked so happy. So free.

Jennie missed her.

_“I like you too much. I said it. Miss Jennie Kim - I like you.”_

_Jennie blinked at her, waiting for the laughter, waiting for the sike, but it never came._

_“I like you and being away from you for this long without you bothering me and pouting at me and asking for affection only made me realize it and know that, for sure, I like you.” Her fingers settled on Jennie’s shoulders, and with their proximity, she could spot the flecks of gold in Chae’s dark hues._

_“You have to be joking,” Jennie murmured, breathless as electricity danced on her skin where Chaeyoung’s hands rested._

_“I’m not. You’re my best friend. I think you’re the prettiest, funniest girl I know. I don’t think I get along with anyone as well as I do with you,” Chaeyoung stated, her head tilting. “I’m not shy with you. I can talk for hours and hours with you and not feel embarrassed. You’re just... I want you as more as a friend. And being away from you just made me realize it.”_

_Jennie hadn’t expected a confession like this. It was only a random Saturday evening. The only thing that had prompted this was the way she had avoided Chaeng... and she didn’t know how to respond to the girl she’d been pining after telling her that she liked her._

_“...Me too,” was all Jennie could respond with, starstruck as her gaze flit over the younger girl._.

Chaeyoung’s smile there... Jennie would do anything to experience that moment again.

It was so bright, and hopeful, and happy. Chaeyoung was beautiful. Her twinkling eyes were drawing her in, and the cheerful giggle that slipped from her lips had Jennie wanted to hear it on repeat for the rest of her life.

It was such a random moment that Jennie wanted to call it a dream, but... it hadn’t been. 

Her best friend liked her back. Her best friend, who she’s been watching for months, been in love with for months... it was a good feeling. Having someone actually love her, give her attention... it was all she wanted.

She just wanted to give Chaeyoung the love she deserved back.

But, as life always tells you, good things never last.


	2. please don’t give me roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> life sucks.

Jennie glanced up at the trail that disappeared beyond the hill.

It was somewhat dark now after nearing seven in the evening. There was sort of a bluish tint to her view of the path before her, the sky darkening and the temperature cooling to a nice fall breeze.

She couldn’t help but feel nostalgic at the similar scenery.

She was currently sitting on the tailgate of the truck she had driven there, Lisa’s with the promise to fill the tank, with her airpods stuck in her ears. 

The only thing that Jennie could do at this point was cry.

_“I’ve got something to tell you,” Chaeyoung spoke in a quiet tone, her face turned towards the wind where the words were almost carried away._

_Jennie remained quiet._

_“Jennie?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I don’t think I can be enough for you.”_

_Jennie blinked. She pulled her legs up and crossed them before turning to the other girl, eyes wide._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“You need someone who can take care of you. I don’t think I can be that person for you.” Chaeyoung pursed her lips and finally tilted her head in Jennie’s direction. “Have you not noticed?”_

__Jennie had noticed.

The way that lately, Chaeyoung hadn’t been as excited for things as she used to be.

When Jennie would suggest going out, Chae would claim that she was tired. When she hinted at spending more time together out of the dorm, Chae didn’t seem too keen on the idea. They had been talking a little less, and Jennie hadn’t quite understood why.

They were best friends, so what was the difference between now and for?

It seemed that Chaeng had figured that out before Jennie had.

_“I think we were meant to be friends and nothing more,” Chaeyoung continued._

_Jennie studied the girl who was sitting next to her. Light pink flyaways were sticking out around her face and her dark brown eyes seemed even darker. She looked tired, looking back at Jennie, pale and finished against the outline of the trees surrounding the two of them as well as the path._

_Jennie sighed.  
She didn’t get it. She thought it had been going quite well. Even if Chaeyoung wasn’t always emotionally available, it wasn’t like Jennie couldn’t talk to either of their other roommates about something that was bothering her._

_Chaeyoung didn’t have to be there all the time, but she could see it in the younger girl’s eyes._

_The guilt.  
The exhaustion._

_So Jennie didn’t push it._

_“Are you sure, Chaengie? You know you didn’t make me feel uncomfortable at all.”_

_“I know. It’s just... I think I need some time to figure out what I want.”_

_“Mm.”_

_Chaeyoung still smiled, though. “I’ll still be here as your best friend, Jennie. I won’t leave you._

_I just think you deserve better.“_

Jennie didn’t want better.  
There was only Chaeyoung. Jennie had tried looking at other people. Tried to imagine herself with them. After having Chaeyoung, she didn’t want to settle for anyone else.

But it was too late. Jennie couldn’t have Chaeyoung even if she tried again.

It disturbed her, almost. Chaeyoung has moved on. It’s been months. They act like everything is normal. Jennie had to wonder if Chae had ever really cared in the first place, if she she could get over it that easily.

Chaeyoung said they were better off as friends, but Jennie didn’t agree.

Jennie was still in love with her best friend.  
Every time she looked at Rosie, it hurt. Her Rosie. Rosie who she didn’t want anyone else to have because she wanted her.

But for once, Jennie wasn’t going to get her way.

Jennie cried. Her hair was whipped around her face by the wind that carried her cries away. She was in the middle of nowhere. Nobody knew where she was. She liked it that way. She cried as she clutched her phone to her chest, one of her hands covering her face as if someone was watching.

She cried as her phone pinged with messages from Chaeyoung asking her where she was. Jennie didn’t want to answer her. She wanted to leave and never have to look at Chae again. She wished that Chae would just leave her alone and stop acting like their relationship had never happened.

But Jennie knew she’d always run back to her. No matter what the circumstances were, she would go back. Rosie could insult her, call her the meanest names, tell her that she was meaningless and Jennie would still always go back to their shared room to bask in the younger’s attention.

She wished she could convince Chaeyoung that she had done well. That she had taken care of Jennie well and that she didn’t need anything better.

But Chaeyoung wouldn’t listen, and Jennie wouldn’t burden her when she knew just how much Chae was going through. She saw how tired the younger was, how down she could her sometimes.

Jennie wouldn’t bother with it anymore.

Life goes on. Sometimes you love people who don’t love you back. In certain circumstances, it feels like you’ll shrivel into nothing if you can’t tell the person you love that you... well, love them. You have to learn to deal with it.

Jennie couldn’t deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo thanks for reading i actually finished a two chartered thing even if it’s only 2k words yeahhh follow me @sanrelics on twitter


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